When Cameron gave his farewell talk a few Sundays back he said, “My mom loves to cry.” I don’t know if I love to cry but lately I sure cry a lot. The day we dropped Cameron off at the MTC was no different. We took him out to lunch before dropping him off and he chose Cafe Rio. This was a mistake, every other missionary being dropped off that day must have had the same idea and so there were 10-12 missionaries and their families there eating their last meal together for a while. Then as each missionary got up to go you could see out the window in the parking lot where they would spend time taking pictures and saying goodbye, A very emotional thing each time. So when it was our turn I was already a wreck, we spent some time talking and hugging because I knew when we got to the MTC it would be quick. As we were pulling into the MTC it was so great to see all the missionaries there. They were cheering and just so excited for these new missionaries to arrive. As we pulled up to the spot designated for us to drop Cameron off, there was a missionary there waiting for him. This missionary opened the door for me and then Cameron and then helped Dave unload Cameron’s luggage. I gave Cameron a hug and told him how much I love him, then it was Dave’s turn to do the same. The sweet missionary who was there to help Cameron kept giving me words of encouragement the whole time, “This is where he is supposed to be, This is the hardest part it will get easier.” Then it was time for Cameron to walk away, I wanted to give him one last hug but I could see that he was trying to keep his tears in check so I decided I would be a good mom and just let him go. When Dave and I got back in the car and drove away neither of us could restrain the tears. Dave called this drop off the band-aid. Quick short and painful.
I wanted to share with you the realization that I came to this week. We dropped our oldest son Cameron off at the MTC this week where he begins his two year mission serving the Lord. This was a very difficult experience for me, I love him so much, I am his mother, I can’t imagine spending the next two years of his life and my life without each other. I know this is what he should be doing and where he should be and nothing else will give him the same experiences and help his testimony to grow more. The days leading up to this event were very difficult and I found myself having a harder time each day. I went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asked Him to help me to have peace. Right away I felt this overwhelming love and understanding from my Heavenly Father. The love I expected but the understanding wasn’t something I had expected. Then I sat and pondered what that might mean. I thought of how much I will miss Cameron the next few years and how worried I am that he will be safe and happy. I started thinking how our Heavenly Father must feel as He sends His children to earth. I am sure He feels the same way I do each time. He knows this is where we need to be and where our testimonies can grow but He knows how much He will miss us and worries that we will be safe and be good. I know that exchanging letters with Cameron on his mission will be my life line in keeping us close and I know if a letter is late or he can’t write for some reason that week it will break my heart and I will worry more. Our Father in Heaven must feel the same way, when we don’t take the time to communicate with Him in prayer I am sure He is worried and broken hearted. I have also seen other parallels in this experience. I am sending Cameron to Argentina trusting that his mission “Dad and Mom” (Mission President and wife) will take care of him and when they are not around the good people of Argentina will be there for him. I know when we are sent to earth our Heavenly Father is entrusting us to our Mom and Dad and hoping that if they can’t or won’t take care of us that there are other good people along the way to do it. I am counting down the days, already, until I will see Cameron again and be able to hug him and just be near him. I know this is how our Heavenly Father feels as well, He is waiting for that time again when He can give us a hug and be with us. This experience has helped me to realize just how much our Heavenly Father loves each of us. I love this quote from President Benson. He said, “Nothing is going to startle us more when we pass through the veil to the other side than to realize how well we know our Father and familiar his face is to us.” (Jesus Christ-Gifts and Expectations in Speeches of the year 1974 Provo)
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